One Minute Reviews: Vacation Film Fest

On my recent vacation I watched a whole bunch of movies in a really short period of time.  And because I have an outlet in which to express my shit (aka this website blog) I will now review them very quickly for you, the unsuspecting reader.

The Artist
A silent movie about a silent movie star.  Saw it at the Edina theater.  Almost didn't have to pay.  The ticket both was closed down, instead directing people to the concessions to purchase tickets.  There were lots of folks, so I could have just walked right by.  But I really wanted popcorn, and I figured they would think it's really strange that a dude is just buying P-corn and no movie ticket.  Anyway, it is a really good film, and not at all boring like I was worried that it would be.  Plus the main chick really turned me on.  Someone said it's probably because you couldn't hear her talk.

30 Seconds or Less
I was intrigued by a funny cast that includes that one guy from Parks & Rec, that one guy with the mullet from that one HBO show, that was also in some other movies and is good friends with James Franco, and the guy from Adventure Land and Zombie Land, that was also the main dude in the Social Network.  The latter of which has a corny line in this movie about not having Facebook because he's "off the grid" or something.  It is a fairly stupid flick, but has some good cheap laughs.  Got it from the Redbox, which is basically like losing money if you don't rent something.

Warrior
Also Redboxed at the same time as 30 Secs.  A intelligent MMA movie about two brothers who have not seen each other in ages because of some old-school family shit that eventually have to fight each other in the main event.  That's not a spoiler; it's pretty much given away from the cover image.  Even if you hate MMA--which you shouldn't, cuz it's the sweetest science ever (besides hoops)--you'll like this movie.  And if you don't, it's because you secretly hate good movies.

Young Adult
The new movie from the former local practitioner of bad fashion, Diablo Cody.  It's like Juno, if she sorta grew up and got a writing gig.  Normally I don't really like C-Ther, but she was pretty good in this movie.  Highly identifiable for numerous people for numerous reasons.  That one kind of fat guy that may or may not be from Minnesota was in it too.  Saw it Southdale, where I did not buy any concessions, but I did indeed have laughs at all the people that would oh-and-ahh whenever a Mpls landmark/landscape came on the screen.  Don't be a shithead that hates 'Blo-co cuz she went for it and got kinda famous and you didn't; go see this movie.

The Art of Getting By
I've been known to say "give me coming-of-age or give me death" from time to time.  Death can fuck itself in the ass for all I care.  Coming-of-age is what you get with this film.  Really enjoyed this Redbox sleeper flick.  Not sleeper like, it's so boring you fall asleep, but sleeper like, nobody probably knows about it unless they go to the Redbox.  Well, I didn't anyway.  Rite-of-passage would also be an accurate description.  Loved the main character--apathetic awkward trouble-maker dude with a nice wool coat.

Win Win
Another heartwarming jam.  Also Redboxed with both the above and below-mentioned discs.  That one dude--the heavier-set, more famous one--from the movie about guys that like wine, that had a cover that was green, and that you can see in the used DVD section all the time now...Sideways, I think(?)...stars in this one.  He's a high school wrestling coach and a father and an overall good guy that makes a poor decision here and there.  One of which is not adopting a troubled young man that is also a really great wrestler.  Nope, that was a good decision, and is the basic premise of the movie.  You'll probably like this unless you hate emotions.  I'm kind of middle-of-the-road myself when in comes to emotions, but I liked this movie.

Fright Night
The remake, not the OG (which I just watched for free on On Demand back in October), starring Anton Yelchin--the kid that played Charlie Bartlett and the kid who gets killed in Alpha Dog and Chekov (sp?) in the Star Trek remake.  The GF thinks it's better than the OG, but I fell asleep on this shit.  I do however remember that Mr. Yelchin has some really nice abs.  Other than that it was just a lot of really loud noise that kept waking me up.

Our Idiot Brother
Redbox FTW, FTW.  Thats fuck the world, for the win, btw.  This is a g to the reat movie, believe me.  It's seriously hindered by it's name.  It should be called Our Brother Ned or Brothers Know Best or something.  And don't be fooled--like I was--that because it has Paul Rudd in it and they only show the one-liners in the previews/adds that it's a comedy.  Well, it is funny, but it's also like, really good.  I don't know maybe I was sentimental cuz of the holidays and shit, but it sort of touched me in a strange way.  Then again it could be the really sweet--literally and figuratively--carmel cheesecake ice cream I was eating while watching it.

-BNB

Top 5 Songs Under 30 Seconds

The Descendents - "Weinerschnitzel"
An excerpt from The Set List: Top 5 Songs Under 30 Seconds
by Nathan G. O'Brien on Scene Point Blank

In 1981 The Decendents steamrolled punk rock angst and childish humor into a SoCal pinner doobie and hot-boxed it with disenfranchised teenagers everywhere. Perhaps no song in history quickly, yet accurately sums up youthful suburban boredom as well as “Weinershchnitzel” does. The Fat EP—which clocks in roughly as long as it takes to hot-box an actual pinner doobie (four and half minutes...so I'm told) features other short but awesome songs like “My Dad Sucks”’ and “I like Food.” But “Weinerschnitzel” is not only the quickest; it’s the greatest—glorious in its simplicity. “Welcome to Der Weiner Schnitzel. May I take your order please? Yeah, I want two large Cokes, two large fries, chilli-cheese dog, large Dr. Pepper, Super Deluxe with cheese and tomato! You want Bill sperm with that? NO!" Ten seconds later you’re asking yourself three questions: A) Why is everyone yelling? B) Is it over? And C) Wait, did he really just say “Bill sperm?”

See what else made the list after the jump.

Record Review: Nightgaun-Absurdity of Meaning 7"

Nightgaun-Abusurdity of Meaning 7" (Primitive Future)
By Nathan G. O'Brien on Scene Point Blank

There are a number of adjectives that would accurately describe Tempe, AZ’s Nightgaun—noisy, filthy, retching, etc.—but perhaps none more fitting than “raw.” Continuing the chiropteran-themed imagery first displayed on their impressive self-titled 7” debut, the cover art for Absurdity of Meaning— a crude depiction of a bat being stabbed through the sternum with a switchblade—provides a strong indication of the frantic assault within.  ...read full review after the jump.

Record Review: Condominium-Warm Home

Condominium-Warm Home (self-released)
By Nathan G. O'Brien on Scene Point Blank

The title of Twin Cities trio Condominium’s latest is quite misleading. Warm Home is not the record you put on for an evening in front of the fire place with hot chocolate and a novella. This is anything but comforting. Instead, imagine the following scenario: The clock strikes 2AM just as the pot cookie you ate between your first and second 40oz.—that latter of which is now entering the dreaded swill stage—is rapidly taking control of your mind, body, and for all intensive purposes, soul. (Those of you who like to keep your edges straight, can play along too: Take a minute to eat a carrot, slap yourself in the face a few times, do ten pushups; and join the rest of us when you’re good and ready.) You’ve grown tired of worrying about the music being too loud for the neighbors, and quite frankly, in your current state of fucked-upness, you could care less. Plus you’ve been listening to old-school rap for the duration of eighty ounces of malt liquor, and now you’re in the mood for something abrasive. It’s time to rage up in this bitch! Drop the needle on Warm Home. ...read the rest of the review here.

One Minute Reviews: Tragedy-The Story of Queensbridge

One Minute Reviews
By Nathan G. O'Brien exclusively for HotDogDayz

Tragedy-The Story of Queensbridge

Finally got around to watching Tragedy Khadafi's documentary The Story of Queensbridge.  Honestly didn't hear about it 'til way after it was out, and that was still like two years ago that I wrote myself a note to check it.  So it was a long time commin'.  I recommend  any hip-hop head who hasn't seen it, do so immediately.  I could on and on about how insightful it is and all that, but you can YouTube it or Vimeo it or whatevs yourself.  Afterwards, I quickly iTunes'd Capone-n-Noreaga's War Report, which I probably hadn't heard in 13-14 years.  Those Capone-in-prison phone calls are on some real ish.  And the record is straight hip-hop, up and down--banging just as hard today as it did in '97.  Can't argue with the $7.99 price tag either.  Then I decided to Google Map "Queensbridge housing" to see where all these classic cats like Trag, Mobb Deep, CNN, and Nas come from.  The "reviews" are hilarious.  Dimeblock gave it five stars, "liked" it and says, "Dimeblock is the illist!"  Meanwhile, nicole (who doesn't capitalize her name) "dislikes" it with one star, and--representing fans of racism and poor grammar alike--says, and I quote, "There's a lot of blacks I hate it they constantly fights and gonna shots."  It  might surprise you to know she didn't actually use a period at the end of the sentence.  I took the liberty of adding that for her.  OK, enough for now.  You're going to go watch The Story of Queensbridge now, and I'm going to roll one, crack a forty, and listen to "Illegal Life." 

I know; not really a review, but I bet it only took a minute to read.  Let's call it even.

Record Review: Action Bronson & Statik Selektah-Well Done

Action Bronson & Statik Selektah-Well Done (DCide)

By Nathan G. O'Brien on Scene Point Blank

Individually it has already been a busy year for both of these East Coast cats. Well Done marks the third release of 2011 for the culinary chemist-turned-rapper Action Bronson—following the the Bon Appetite…Bitch! mixtape and the impressive Dr. Lecter album—and the fifth for producer/DJ extraordinaire Statik Selektah, who dropped collabo joints with Freeway, Freddie Gibbs, and Freddie Foxxx, as well as an ambitious solo record, Population Control.

Well Done starts off a little suspect, thanks to a very ill-advised and misplaced homophobic slur (by an unidentified hype man) between the first and second verse of “Respect the Mustache.” (Seriously, who cleared that?)  ...continue reading review after the jump.